Remember, It's Ok by Marina L. Reed

Author:Marina L. Reed
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Blue Moon Publishers
Published: 2020-01-15T00:00:00+00:00

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Write out the lyrics of a song that has spoken to you.

Rain is snow

snow is rain

it hangs heavily

on the evergreens

pulling them down

weeping

weighted

hard to pull up

and together

I am listening. I am listening.

One of the things that is a great agony for me is not having anyone to talk to. Being very private, it was always hard for me. And when I do talk, I am usually interrupted and start closing down and feel invisible. My love was always really aware of that and took time to hear me and made others hear me. It’s often hard for others to understand that about me. But in myself, I am rather shy; being a champion of others is easier than of self. He was my champion, and he made such a difference. And although I am working hard to find a different path and way of handling all this, it is tricky. Dark thoughts are powerful. I am redirecting them, but it’s still tricky. I guess I’m still not really good at it yet. I want to live in the colours, but darkness overcomes so quickly.

And even though I try to replace thoughts of fear, wow, they creep in. I feel scared of the summer…it was our time to really be together in all the things we loved. I’ll hopefully be in a different place by then, where I can cope better, but in the meantime, I’m scared.

He truly was your champion. As you have shared stories of him, I have come to see him through your eyes. Your love for each other and the expressions of that love, through listening, through special times and seasons together, made a difference in both your lives. Anticipating moments that you once shared can be scary. Finding ways to be kind to yourself in those times and seasons that were once special will help them be a little less scary. Try to think of something you could plan for the summer. Something you would like to do with a friend. Begin new adventures knowing he would love to see you doing them.

OK. I think I can do that. But what if I have no one who can go with me? What can I plan then?

Remember when we talked about the plans and dreams that you had made together? Perhaps there is short day trip that you could do, solo, that would bring him honour and bring you a planned outing. It may be as simple as taking an art class, going to the theater, an art gallery, a wine tasting. Doing some of the things you enjoy where you know others will also be on their own. What comes to your mind when you think of these kinds of options?

Well, first I think that not too many people do things on their own. I would really stand out. I would like to do a wine tasting.

A wine tasting — what a great idea!

Who knows, maybe there are more people doing things on their own than you realized — you’ve lived in a “couple” world so long that you may not have noticed.

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